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Summary: An inquiry into gendered assumptions about nutrition and “manliness.”

Amanda Marcotte of Pandagon notes a conservative columnist, Debbie Schlussel, has taken up a banner raised by some actor, Jeremy Piven, who claims drinking a bunch of soy milk gave him “man boobs.” Soy being some kind proxy for liberalism or something, Schlussel tried to make some kind of ‘winger crusade out of it. Amanda took issue with the entire premise, pointing out that from photos it looks a lot like Piven’s just put on a little weight. Her conclusion?

...my theory on why Thanksgiving seemed like such a good idea for pushing the “anxious masculinity” button in conservative readers was this: after watching endless hours of strong, athletic men throw a ball around while unimaginably huge throngs of people cheer for them, a lot of dudes with masculinity issues start to feel a little insecure, and need a mean-spirited blonde to buck them up by telling them they don’t have “man boobs”, though I’m fairly certain many to most of them do.  Because men put weight on there.  It’s just a fact of life.

Read the quote, and follow the links, here.

I mention this in part because Amanda’s point is grounded in entirely prosaic reality. But also because it nicely consolidates a curmudgeonly notion I was mulling over last night while doing some post-holiday cleanup.

Human beings, at least modern/civilized ones have a tendency to just worry endlessly about dumb stuff. I don’t know why but we do. My epiphany last night was that maybe men don’t have to worry about nutrition and diet so much because we keep ourselves too busy worrying about masculinity instead.

Given that humans are able to survive and thrive in more environments than even seagulls, rats, or roaches it doesn’t seem likely that there would really be such a thing as an ideal or optimum diet. Or that, even if there was it would be so fragile that failing to check the pH of your food or accidentally cooking something, or getting starch in it, or maybe getting meat in it will kill us dead, dead, dead.

Similarly, given that humans have managed reproduced in virtually every conceivable environment from salt deserts to arctic ice it seems extraordinarily unlikely that there’s such a thing as ideal or optimum “manliness.” Or that, even if there was it would be so fragile that supporting a losing team, or washing a dish, or drinking the wrong yeast poop, or touching your wife’s purse, or, I guess, drinking a soy latte could “unman” you.

Anyway, it’s a mistaken assumption in macho culture that worrying about diet or nutrition is an innate characteristic of women. Instead it’s a consequence of the absence of worrying about manliness… in the face of human being’s need to worry needlessly.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. At least till I get my blood sugar back up.

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Note to Jeremy Piven and Debbie Schlussel: One imagines Rush Limbaugh doesn’t even put soy sauce on his steaks, let alone eat drink soy milk or eat tofu. He nevertheless has “man boobs” the size of watermelons. Discuss.